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This is where you are able to read the Baroness' very own private and revealing behind-the-scenes diary.

EPISODE 1. LIFE'S A BEACH

Life's a beach!The late and great Christian Dior once told me that he wouldn’t dress a woman unless she was pale and interesting, made-up and thin. Well, that look certainly doesn’t work on a beach. Something I now know from experience.

Yesterday we finished filming the episode, Life’s a Beach, and I still have sand in my hair, a pair of ruined shoes and a slightly burnt nose. Can you imagine anything more ghastly? And they told me that Cape Town is glamorous! Why I ever agreed in the first place to venture onto a sandpit for adults is beyond me...

I asked Richard, my camera- man, to get a good close-up of the boy sunbathing on the rocks at Sandy Bay. Meaning a close-up of his delicious foreskin. Richard assured me that he had captured every detail. I had the feeling he enjoyed it. (He is straight…Isn’t he? Must check with Lars, my director.) Sitting on the rocks, I poured some champagne on his penis. It erected immediately. Just what I wanted! But sorry, darling viewers, you don’t get to see that!

I had no idea that Jeremy Mansfield has so much sex appeal! He is married, so the poor darling will need some real sex. Will call him tomorrow.

The gorgeous boy taking a shower on Clifton beach asked me out to dinner…or did I ask him? Who cares! He was nervous during dinner, so I discreetly fondled him just to put him at ease… and to assess the size. Enormous.

He fucked like a dream… came too quickly. Left his underpants. Just wondering, would any fetishists like to have them? I suspected that Gino was listening at the door, so I moaned a little louder… he deserved a treat after a gruelling day.

Speaking of which, Gino has just knocked…bringing me a nightcap? Nearly forgot. Matt, the lifeguard, is coming for coffee tomorrow morning. Coffee?

Come in Gino…make it a double, and ONE block of ice!

THE BARONESS